Family

     My name is Jason Todd. Ex-Boy Wonder, current Red Hood. "Ex-Boy Wonder?" You may ask. "But how can someone as brutal as the Red Hood have ever worn pixie boots and scaly underwear?" Well, I wasn't always this brutal. In fact, I used to be a pretty good kid, until the Joker got his hands on me. What do I mean by that? I mean the Joker beat me nearly to death with a crow bar and then blew me up. "But that's not possible." You say. "Batman wouldn't have let that happen. And besides, if you were really blown up, you would be dead." Well, Batman did let it happen. Not only that, but he let the Joker get away with it, too! And I did die, thank you very much. But for reasons still unknown, I came back. I dug myself out of my own grave and basically wondered around without a brain until Talia found me. She's kind of like Bruce's girlfriend, or at least she thinks so. I'm pretty sure she only threw me in the Lazarus Pit because she thought it would make Bruce like her. Not that it worked. But this isn't about how I died, or how I came back. It's not about who I was before I was the Red Hood, and it's definitely not about who I am now. This is about them. It's about Bruce, Dick, Tim, and even the little demon spawn, Damian. Dick wants me to come back, you know. Be part of the "family". But I can never go back. Not after everything I've done. Do you know how many times I've tried to kill them? All of them? Honestly, I've lost count. I could never face them. I could never just go back, no matter how much I want to. I would never be welcome. Dick might try to make me feel at home, but the others...they would treat me like they always have since I came back. Like I'm some kind of horrible creation straight from hell. They would look at me like I'm a monster. And frankly, that's kind of what I am. I parade around at night in a red helmet, shooting people who commit crimes, justifying their deaths, their murders by saying they deserve to die because of their actions. But I'm not much better than them. Not really. So that's why I can't go back. That's why I'm living alone in an abandoned apartment building without a job, waiting around for the night to come so I can go out and kill more low life "criminals". When I first came back, before I remembered how he let me die and then replaced me with some other pathetic little kid, I wanted to go back to being Batman's Robin. I liked it. I liked the cape, I liked the thrill, and I liked working with Bruce. Most of the time. Sometimes though, he was a pain. "Dick did it this way, Jason." "Dick got it on his first try, Jason." "Dick could do four backflips in a row." He always expected me to do it exactly like his little golden boy. But I could never live up to his standards. Maybe that's why he didn't try harder to save me when I was with the Joker. Maybe that's why he replaced me so soon after my death. With Tim. I was so mad when I heard about that. I started planning how I was going to kill Tim. I don't know what that would've helped though, it's not like Bruce would've let me be Robin again anyway. Then Damian showed up and Bruce conveniently disappeared. I felt kinda bad for the kid. Not only did he have Batman, of all people for a dad, but Bruce wouldn't even look at him for a while. Dick had to take him in. Good ole' Dickie-Bird, always looking out for his brothers. I don't know where any of us would be if it weren't for him. I've tried to kill him before, yes, but honestly, I'm thankful that I never succeeded. I would never forgive myself if I killed my own brother. And yes, he is my brother. I guess I've always thought of him as one, but I've never wanted to admit it. I think we all think of him as a brother, even Damian. Ah, Damian. The kid acts so grown up, even though he's only ten. It's part of the way he was brought up. Being raised by Talia and her league of assassins, he was taught to kill and to show no mercy. I'm still pretty pissed at Talia for that, too. She basically stole her own son's childhood away from him. Dick is trying to give him somewhat of a normal life now, but ten years with Talia will make you a rock. I came out the way I did, and I only spent five years with her. These people, these crazy people who put their lives on the line on a nightly basis, they are my family. We don't get along. We try to kill each other (literally). But despite all this, I know I would put my life on the line for any one of them. And despite what I've done, I know they would do the same for me. "Why?" You may ask. Because we are all family.